that's an acceptable place to lick
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
