I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
