My sheets look like a crime scene.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
