His pubic hair was longer than his dick
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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