I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
