Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
