I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
