I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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