dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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