Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize