Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
