***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
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