Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Randomize
