I'm drive I can fine osifer
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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