I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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