i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
me + whiskey = a bad person
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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