Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
