I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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