areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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