I seem to have left my pride at pride
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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