I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
