I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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