Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Randomize
