so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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