That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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