Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
