Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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