can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
