Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
