I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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