remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
