Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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