pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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