i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
