He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
