I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
