sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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