I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
