Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
