i think i have two assholes
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
