I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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