All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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