im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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