dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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