You smell like a Billy Joel song
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
