You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize
