I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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