U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
