im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
