I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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