One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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